I know you were being intentionally facetious here, but this does nicely encapsulate "How Project Managers and Developers Fuck Agile".
Use of velocity outside of calculating capacity and extra demands being placed on the team is broken; yet I've seen Project Managers terrorize their charges by using it as some kind of fucked-up productivity measurement. For a developer, if your estimates don't include time taken to properly test and develop the user stories, you are lying. You're lying to the business, you're lying to the team, and you're hiding technical debt. As a developer, you get final sign-off on how many points you assign to a story - don't fuck up this 'simple' task :-)
I know you were being intentionally facetious here, but this does nicely encapsulate "How Project Managers and Developers Fuck Agile".
Use of velocity outside of calculating capacity and extra demands being placed on the team is broken; yet I've seen Project Managers terrorize their charges by using it as some kind of fucked-up productivity measurement. For a developer, if your estimates don't include time taken to properly test and develop the user stories, you are lying. You're lying to the business, you're lying to the team, and you're hiding technical debt. As a developer, you get final sign-off on how many points you assign to a story - don't fuck up this 'simple' task :-)